Chronic tiredness…

If you suffer from a chronic illness, the chances are that you will know all about Christine Miserandino and her spoon theory. If you are the partner/carer of someone with a chronic illness, chances are that you will know about the spoon theory. However, those of you that don’t are probably scratching their heads and thing what the hell is the crazy woman talking about? Allow me to elaborate…

The spoon theory is the brainchild of a woman with a condition called Lupus (or SLE). Her name is Christine Miserandino. She was trying to explain to a friend of hers just how it felt to deal with chronic illness and tiredness.

You start your day with twelve spoons. Each action you do costs you at least one, and sometimes more spoons. Imagine in the morning – you can use four spoons before you leave the house (that’s is you can leave the house). By the time lunchtime has been and gone, you are down to four spoons. It’s hell. I’m enclosing a link so you can read about it should you wish to…

The Spoon Theory
I’m laying here in my bed and it is 10.10am. Already, a bone crushing weariness consumes me. The tiredness is caressing every nerve ending and making me feel as though my body is weighted down by lumps of concrete.

I want so desperately to close my eyes and drift blissfully info the realm of sleep. I already feel like I’m running on a negative spoon equity for the day. That will affect my tiredness for some days to come. But I have to keep going. I must.

Until I come to the point where I can physically go no further. My legs turn leaden and I come to a sudden halt. I slide down a wall into a puddle of tears, simply unable to move.

That’s how chronic tiredness feels. It’s horrible.

Try to imagine…

Try to imagine what it is like to wake up every single morning feeling like your spine is being gnawed on by a pride of ravenous lions. That the muscles in your back are being chewed up by the cubs. Those little, needle sharp teeth chewing into the muscles and nipping at the loose spinal nerves-that tingling agony.

Alongside that, you have a tribe of wee men with crowbars. Each one is trying to pop open a joint. They put a crowbar in and move it backwards and forwards, working slowly. You feel every twinge.

The pain in your head is tense. It starts at the back of your neck and creeps up over your scalp, and around your eyes. As the pain moves into your eyes, you develop a constant, painful muscular spasm in your eyelid.

Your collarbones both feel like they are being whacked by big men welding Thor’s hammer!

All your muscles are twitching and on fire. You feel like they have been dipped in acid. With no regularity, your muscles keep on going into spasm. It feels like hell.

Your legs barely have the strength to drag you to the bathroom. Yesterday I couldn’t take even the ten steps from my bed to my bedroom. I felt so humiliated. I really did.

That is just what you feel pain wise. There are the other symptoms. Fibromyalgia has 200 of them. So please do forgive me if I seem a little down this morning!