Pain sucks…

Pain, as my teenagers would say, sucks donkey balls. I have to say that this morning I agree with them.

I got just over two hours sleep last night. The gnawing pain in my lower back and my joints woke me. As I have no pain relief I can take throughout the night, I had to clockwatch until 6am when I could take my first round of this day’s medication.

I know that some of my followers will have been there. Sitting, watching the clock hands slowly crawl around until you can gleefully stuff the next handful of pills into your mouth in a desperate attempt to obtain even a tiny amount of relief. Only to realise after an hour that the pain relief you were hoping for isn’t going to happen. So you clock watch again, and the cycle goes on. :’-(

Another sucky night…

My eyes are burning, they’re so tired. I had yet another shitty night last night. Thank f**k for auto correct because I am making so many damned mistakes. I keep nodding off for a minute then jerking awake and looking around, trying to clear my head. I feel so shitty and shaky.

I racked up three flashbacks last night. They were flown blown, with sight, sound and touch. I could feel him on me. I could feel him in me. I staggered to the toilet and vomited after the third one. It was especially bad.

As a result, I can barely function this morning.  My cup of tea has gone cold. That kind of seems like a metaphor for my soul. Cold and empty. There is nothing left to give. You tell me to cheer up? That just won’t happen. I challenge you to spend the night with my demons and see just how you fare in the morning.