Changing plans and meltdowns…

Well, it’s not strictly a change of plans. Both my boys were told that they had a dentist’s appointment. Nothing major, only a check up. Now I think both kids have heard and understood as they dragged their eyes away from the screen and both nodded and said “Yes mum”.

My mistake was not to remind senior before he went to school. I knew that junior would be OK. He put a reminder in his phone. Senior doesn’t have a phone. They freak him out and he can’t cope with them and he disolves into a puddle of mush if he has to talk on the phone. (Much like myself really.)

So, they got home at 4pm and senior got into his PJs, which is his standard routine after school. If he has to deviate from that, we have all kinds of hell in the shape of a meltdown which just got worse when he is reminded that he has to go.

The only way to calm him down is to wrap him in his blankie and let him come round. So far it’s looking like he will go screaming and crying.

The other incident that upset him was that he wanted proper chicken curry from a takeaway. I told him calmly that we were having Shepherd’s Pie (savoury soy (or real beef)mince) with mashed potato and cheese. Normally he loves this meal, but not today. He screamed even louder.

The neighbours must think that I  butchering the poor kid from the way he is screaming. I have an ear infection brewing which is extremely painful, so the screams are making it worse.

The moral of the story? Always double check and triple check with your autistic children when you have differing plans from their normal routine.

Feeling pretty rubbish…

I’m starting to dispair over how lousy I’m feeling right now. I’m used to feeling ill due to the variety of chronic diseases that I have.

This however has nothing to do with my usual illnesses. Over the last few weeks I have been getting steadily worse and displaying new symptoms. Right now? I’m sweating and shaking and snapping at people. This isn’t me!!! I have an appointment  to see my doctor of Wednesday. I honestly don’t know if I can cope that long. It’s nasty, it really is.

But on a lighter note, my eldest has his best friend staying over. They don’t see each other as often they would like. They are both autistic. Three autistic kids to care for? I must be potty. But as long as they are happy, who cares? 🙂


Rotten apples…

There are a few rotten apples in every barrel. In every walk of life, you find people who are simply not cut out to do the job they are in fact actually doing. 

I blogged about the experience of my mammogram the other day. About the way that I was treated by the woman that did my mammogram for me. It was a really unpleasant experience and I filed a complaint about her. But that isn’t the purpose of this blog post so enough about me.

Both my sons are autistic. I had to battle through a lot of red tape and idiots to get them diagnosed. My eldest was diagnosed first. After a lot of going back and forth to my GP, I was finally referred to the CAMHS department at our local hospital.

Our first visit, we met with two nurses. They asked a lot of questions. Yet one of them was lovely and the other one was a complete cow! She didn’t speak as much as the other one did, and when she did, she made me feel like I was just a piece of shit beneath her shoe. She was hostile and very challenging and aggressive. Now I know that they have to question everything I say, but the other nurse could do it without acting like a cockwomble. Everything I told her she rolled her eyes at and spent the entire session leaning against the desk looking down at me. Probably her patented intimidation technique. Cow. By the end of the appointment I felt so intimidated and unnerved that I couldn’t look at her. I had to take my son in so he could have an interview with her. When he came out, he whispered in my ear, “The mean lady made me feel sad. I don’t like her.” She groused that he didn’t display much emotion. Well of course not you dumb ass. A, he’s autistic and B, you would spook a vampire! She really pissed me off. Finally I got a referral to a psychiatrist for him. Not only was he diagnosed with autism, but also dyspraxia and ADHD.

This wasn’t the appointment that got to me. I had to battle for two more years to get my youngest son a CAMHS referral. He had been diagnosed with ADHD already but nothing more. I was so relieved to get that referral. But guess who we saw? Yup. Dragon bitch. She was even more acutely rude to me. I was so relieved that I had asked my carer to come in with me, so I had a witness to what she said. She was very dismissive of my youngest’s problems and at the end of the interview advised me,”A good slap will sort him out.” I have never been so horrified. She is damned lucky I’m in a wheelchair is all I can say. I wrote a long complaint to the head of the department, who was happy to see me. She asked me what I wanted. I told her all I’ve ever wanted was to have my youngest see a psychiatrist. She referred him to the same psychiatrist that saw my eldest. Huge relief!

I had to wait for months for the appointment to come through, but that’s normal. He was nervous, as he thought he would have to see the “mean nurse” again. It was only when he saw the doctor that he relaxed.

The report on his ADOS assessment took several weeks, but finally it came through. I had the diagnosis to get him the help he needs. That’s an ongoing battle for both boys. One I’ll never stop fighting. Goddess help you if you’re mean to my boys though.