Seriously, I’m wondering if it is. Why I hear you cry? Well, my 15 year old has come home from school with one of the worst temper meltdowns I have ever seen him have. For a neurodiverse child with autism, ADHD and pathological demand avoidance, believe me when I tell you he has had some really bad stinkers of a meltdown. But this one? It was visceral!
Normally Im quite able to not rise to this and just put him in a quiet space until he calms down. But today? I have the flu. I feel like hell. My temperature is 38.9 and I’m alternately shaking and sweating like crazy. So when Captain Gobshite came through the door in this ball of fiery anger, I just couldn’t cope.
Within five minutes, I had royally lost it and was screaming like a possessed banshee at him. He had started yelling and blaming me for losing a form he could not find that he needed for school. No way was I taking the flack for that. He is not using his autism as an excuse for laziness. The form should have been back in his bag after he showed us.
He was being so rude and confrontational and he knew he was pushing all the right buttons. Yet most of the time I don’t react. I wonder if my being ill has lowered my guard on my emotions.
I screeched and yelled back at him until the damn thing was found and then I burst into tears and had to take a Valium.
As my temper levels returned to normal, I began to wonder if there was a point at all to anger. All it does is break you down and destroy you heart and soul. It leaves you feeling sick and broken inside. Is that short flare of temper really worth it? Is the two minutes of tension relief it brings to you really worth the destroyed voice and love that it brings? Here’s the rub… I don’t know, I really don’t. But if I had to, I’d choose that it is horrible and simply isn’t worth it.
I guess the point of this post is a little self centred. But I just want to us to remember that anger is toxic, and if you can at least keep that going, the thought will slowly help us remember to be calm in those situations.
Have I made sense here? I’m waffling on as a result of my temperature. Bleurgh. Pass me the sick bags.
You made perfect sense. I totally agree with you. I have learned that flipping out does nothing but make my daughter worse and YET there are days where we are…human…pushed beyond our capabilities…flu would be a prime example where you just want to make it through the day. Angry is normal. Not always beneficial. But sometimes almost not preventable. Be easy on yourself. I Hope you feel better soon! Drink lots of fluids!
Thank you so much.x
Anger is toxic, but by gods kids really know how to wind us parents up. Feeling ill makes everything feel so much worse and unbearable.
Masses of love and hugs xxxx ❤️
Thanks sweetie.x
Powerful post and you are so right, although we often consider anger to be unavoidable it is totally toxic! Nobody benefits and our angry words are like hand grenades – they are so destructive. Patience is the antidote and I’m still working on that …
Indeed. I hate the way that being angry makes me feel.