I started today in bits. I engaged in a debate on Facebook yesterday and when I woke up this morning, I had been torn into by the original poster. I can cope with disagreement, but when it gets personal, it’s too much. Being called pompous and self righteous just because I dared to hold a differing opinion? That is simply not on.
I’ve spent most of the morning going through a cycle of panic and anxiety attacks, then bursting into tears. I kept asking myself why they had said that and were they right? I have spent most of my life being belittled by the words of others. When it happens on what I regard as one of my safe spaces, Facebook, I start to feel really unsafe. I no longer feel safe on my Facebook page.
I cried a lot, but about half an hour, another emotion began to creep through. Anger. How fucking dare these people tear into me like that just because they had a differing opinion? I mean, by all means tell me that you don’t agree with me, but don’t be a fucking asshole and call me names. I will NOT be made to feel unsafe. I simply won’t.
I have spent all my life feeling unsafe. The first 33 years because of familial and spousal abuse and the last 10 because I live in terror of my ex finding me. I have very few places where I can actually feel I am safe.
So when some fuckwit comes along and ruins that for me? I get fucking angry. What fucking right do they have to do that to me? Who told them it was OK to speak to a stranger that way? When did it become socially acceptable to bring people down this way? It’s fucking wrong.
So next time motherfucker, think before you type. You have no idea of the damage that your words can actually do!