Reaching out…

We have all been there. We’ve been in such a low, dark place that we have felt utterly bereft of positive energy. We have swum through a swirling mass of dark energy and emotion that constantly threatened to drag us under. As we flounder, we have felt so alone and in desperate need of just one person to reach out and say “Are you OK?”

The problem is, that once somebody asks us if we are OK, we pack all the emotions down and we say in a small voice, “Yes, I’m OK.” But we’re not OK. What we really want to do is burst into tears and scream at the top of our lungs, “NO, I’M NOT FREAKING OK!!!”, then have our friend wrap their arms around us and give us a huge hug. Yet that doesn’t happen. We don’t allow ourselves to be sad. We are afraid that we will be told to “Pull ourselves together” or “Get over it” none of which are of any help to us whatsoever.

So we curl up in a ball when we are alone and we let all our tears flow. All the pain from the hell of a relationship that we just left comes bubbling up from the dept of our soul and spilling out when we have nobody there to validate the way we feel. We feel like nothing. Less than nothing. And we can’t stop that feeling from crawling out of our bellies and spilling from our mouths. Even when people tell us that we are none of those things, we just cannot believe it.

We have to accept that whilst it is perfectly OK to feel that way, it is a part of our healing process, we have to work on ridding ourselves of these feelings. The longer we dwell upon them, the more toxic they can become. For the sake of ourselves and our families we have to heal and move on.

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