My first real friends were from way, way back. I’m almost 44 now and those friends were from when I was growing up. These two people were my soul mates. We spent all day every day outdoors and we had so many adventures that I often thought I could write a book about them all. That was a happy time. Living on a small island and having the two best friends a person could ever want.
Then all that was ripped away from me when my ‘father’ moved us away from the island and back to the north west of England, where he had a job (and a whore he was shagging) It was not a good time for mum and I.
I was determined to make new friends at my new school. Yet nobody wanted to play with the new kid with the weird accent and the funny hair. I was a bullys’ target from the get go.
I went from being an outgoing nature loving child to being a disillusioned introvert who never left her room at all. This is where I discovered my love of books and music. They were my saviours during the many years I spent trapped in my room. I never had a single real friend at school.
As I moved through life, I soon learned that people only wanted to be around me when they wanted something from me. When Iet my scumbag ex, I wasn’t allowed to have any friends that he didn’t approve of. They were all chosen for me. I had no skills in making friends at all.
Then I found a pagan Internet forum and plucked up the courage to go in there. I met my soul sister. She saved my life. She gave me the courage that I needed to take the plunge and escape.
Then I seemed to find more friends on the website and my life felt great. Then I became sick and my personality changed. My physical and mental health turned me into a disabled person. I became depressed, seriously so. I was ultimately diagnosed with bipolar disorder and several other issues. The way I spoke online began to change and some of my friends just turned their back on me. I drove them away, and it broke my heart into pieces.
The people that stuck around? They are my real friends. Their value is immeasurable and I owe them my life. Seriously, the value of real friendship is beyond compare, it really is.