An open letter to people who cheat… (and one person in particular)

You destroy lives. You destroy hope. You destroy dreams. 

I remember my mum’s face. She was all red and blotchy. Her eyes were swollen and her nose was running. She was clutching a sodden tissue in her hand and the remains of its predecessor lay shredded around her feet. I asked her what was wrong. I was only 10 years old. I didn’t understand. She told me my so called ‘father’ had run away with another woman and he was living with her now. 

Every time she wanted to speak to him, I had to phone the house. She was terrified of the other woman answering the phone. Now that I’m older, I can understand this so much. But at the time, I was so full of anger and sadness that I couldn’t do it without crying before and after. The bitch would always be nice to me. Fake niceness. It made me feel sick to the bottom of my stomach.

My mum never recovered from the damage that this did to her. Then after her death, the pair of them pissed all over my mum’s memory by moving into the same house and sleeping in my mum’s fucking bed!!! Sick!!! This I could never, ever forgive. Never.

This is just my story of the damage that infidelity can do. There is so much more to it as well. Stuff that I just cannot bring myself to share in public. I carry that inside me and even to this day I still feel the pain. I think I always will.

I have to question the psyche of cheaters. What kind of person can willingly inflict that kind of pain on another? Before I get jumped on, I am referring to BOTH parties here and not just the “other woman/man”.

What kind of person can actively destroy a family? It is something that I don’t think I will ever understand.

Then once your deception is uncovered, things can go one of two ways. You can continue on, or the relationship ends. In the second situation you can either choose to let it go, or you can pull every nasty trick in the book to try and inveigle yourself back into the life of your ex. You don’t care about anything else and you don’t care what lies you tell or who you hurt in the process. You are a special kind of evil. One day you will feel the same pain that you inflicted. That’s called karma. It’s pronounced HA HA fuck you.

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Things that make us happy…

Little things that make us happy. They change from person to person. Those little things are what keep us going on the crappy days when we feel like giving up.

For example: my happy things are very simple. Clean bed sheets. A bath with a Melting Marshmellow Moment bath melt from Lush in it. A handful of salted pistachio nuts. Cherry Coke. Cuddles from my cat. But most important of all? Cuddles from my kids.

When we feel down, it is so vital to be able to tap in to that part of our psyche where are memories of our happy things are kept. I go there and almost instantly I hear the bubbling laughter of my kids when they were babies. That is such a precious, happy sound that it makes me tingle from head to foot. We all need happy memories like that to be a part of us. It keeps us sane. Even when I’m in a really dark place, if I can get to the place where those memories are, I start to feel so much better.

So take a deep breath. Centre yourself. Then find what makes you happy. It’s better than any happy pill I know. 🙂

The Thread That Binds for PETA: Death

Another excellent piece from this blogger on PETA and their lies.

mom2nomads

Let’s just get some facts out there.

First Fact: During the months of July, August, and September, PETA took in 630 animals and 490 of those animals were killed. You can find a statement by Virginia Senator Bill Stanley about those numbers here. Sadly, these are typical numbers for PETA. In 2014 they took in 2,631 animals and killed 2,324. You can find more information about their shockingly high kill rate here.

Second Fact: PETA kills adoptable animals without ever trying to rehome them. I know this from my firsthand experience as a PETA field worker. We know this because of Maya, the dog they killed shortly after stealing her from her home. We know this because of the animals in North Carolina who were killed in a PETA van and whose bodies were dumped like trash. Patrick Proctor, a veterinarian who asked PETA to find homes…

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To the managing director of Always sanitary towels…

Dear Sir/Madam,

Your irritatingly cheerful “Have a happy period” slogan. It gets on my nerves. In fact it gets right on the cracks in between my nerves and right the way down to find the last sane nerve. The one I was saving for when I ran out of coffee.

What is happy about having a period? A big fat fucking nothing, that’s what. What’s happy about bleeding so heavily you ruin at least five pairs of knickers and have to use enough sanitary product to sink a battleship? Forgive me for this, but I’ve been happier when contemplating the contents of my cat’s freshly soiled litter tray! What is happy about crippling abdominal pain and a bloated abdomen that leaves a woman feeling like Buddha’s living twin? Wanting to drown your hormonal tears of misery in a pint of ice cream them top it off with enough chocolate to feed a sub-continent does not leave me feeling thrilled. There is nothing fun about being stoned out of your box on painkillers and sobbing into your cake in front of a corny chic flick. Not a happy time!

Then there is the matter of how much they smell. In fact, forget that, they really stink! There is a horrible stinking sickly sweet smell to the things. Rather like a 1970s market bought perfume, only the smell of your sanitary towels doesn’t disappear after around half an hour. More’s the pity. I’ve smelt nicer rotting compost if I’m brutally honest. What on earth made you think women would gleefully slap that stench next to the most intimate area of their body? Has nobody explain all about the Ph of ladygardens to you?

Seriously. Have a word with yourselves. Oh, and send chocolate. My supplies are low.

Getting my zen on…

Following my introspection yesterday, I realised that I had been neglecting myself on a spiritual level. I had been focused on the mundane for so long, that I had not been doing anything to enhance myself for a long time.

So I made myself a promise. I’m going to study something spiritual at least once a week. Whether it’s a theistic religion or tarot cards or anything in between. I need to nurture my mind.

I firmly believe that learning actual facts about the spirituality/religion of other people helps us to foster a greater sense of tolerance and understanding. Isn’t that a good thing? 🙂

Tolerance…

How many of us can put our hands on our hearts and say we are truly tolerant of all other beings? I’m talking ALL beings. Animal, vegetable and mineral.

I thought I was a tolerant person. I’m a passionate animal and human rights campaigner and I am also passionate about the environment. I fight against any form of prejudice and against people who would do others harm.

Yet this morning I sat down and I turned my thoughts in on myself. I mean really turned them in. I let my mind wander. I took some deep breaths and relaxed and before I knew it I was meditating on the issue. It wasn’t the straightforward experience that I thought it was going to be. I found out lots of things about myself that I was really rather shocked about. Things I was ashamed of.

Many times when my pain has been bad, I’ve snapped at my carer and my kids and even my poor cat. I’ve growled at total strangers in the street and snapped at nurses or doctors or other health professionals. Even when my medical treatment has been shoddy, I should wish these people love and strength to have a better day. Radiating anger and anxiety and negativity like that only serves to make you feel so much worse about yourself.

I thought about so many different occasions. Times when I could have been nicer. Then I thought about all the times when other people could have been nicer to me. Times when people have brought a tear of shame or sadness to my eye. How I felt so bad about it.

So we all need to become just a little more tolerant. It would make us all feel that little bit better. Just my thoughts anyhoo. 🙂

An open letter to people who judge me…

You look at me now. You see somebody who is in a wheelchair. You see somebody who is visibly upset and trying to hide their face. You hear my tears. You see that I’m overweight. What do you do? Instead of doing the right thing which is to just ignore me, and go on with your day, what is it that you choose to do?

You point. You laugh. Yes, you actually have the gall to laugh at me and to encourage your knuckledragging fuckwit friends to laugh at me too. The fact that this causes me even more pain means nothing to you. It just provides you with more fuel for your sadistic fire. How can you be so cruel? You are happy to watch my tears flow and you glory in my pain.

You perpetuate every single prejudice about people in wheelchairs that rattles around in your tiny little pea brain.

Allow me to enlighten you, dear reader, about just two experiences out of the many. One day I had been to a hospital appointment. As a treat to myself on the way home, my friend took me to Hobbycraft. I was excited to go as I needed to top up my craft supplies. On our way around the aisles, we kept coming across two women. One of whom was pushing a pram. Every time, she would give an over exaggerated tut and begrudgingly move out of way. Then I overheard them talking a couple of aisles away. “People like that shouldn’t be allowed out at the same time as normal people!” To which the other replied, “Yeah, pain in the arse cripples!” I was so humiliated. I burst into tears and put my basket down on the floor and my friend just took me straight home. Yes, I know that I had just as much right as anyone to be there. But after that, I couldn’t bear to be there. It hurt too much.

The second example now. I was on my way to another hospital appointment. My friend was pushing me along. I noticed a little girl of around five or six years old staring at me. I smiled at her and gave her a friendly little wave. She took a step towards me, at which point her mother grabbed her arm and pulled her back. (Fair enough I thought. You don’t want your child talking to a stranger.) The woman then said to her daughter, “NO!!! Dont go near that! You don’t know what you might catch!” I just couldn’t believe the level of ignorance present there! I cried for the rest of the day.

How would you feel if this were you? Your sister/mother/auntie? Would you still be happy to perpetuate such hate and prejudice?

Think. Think before you open your mouth. You never know just how much damage your poisoned words can actually do.