Another sucky night…

My eyes are burning, they’re so tired. I had yet another shitty night last night. Thank f**k for auto correct because I am making so many damned mistakes. I keep nodding off for a minute then jerking awake and looking around, trying to clear my head. I feel so shitty and shaky.

I racked up three flashbacks last night. They were flown blown, with sight, sound and touch. I could feel him on me. I could feel him in me. I staggered to the toilet and vomited after the third one. It was especially bad.

As a result, I can barely function this morning.  My cup of tea has gone cold. That kind of seems like a metaphor for my soul. Cold and empty. There is nothing left to give. You tell me to cheer up? That just won’t happen. I challenge you to spend the night with my demons and see just how you fare in the morning.

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4 thoughts on “Another sucky night…

  1. i may not know exactly whats going on…but you are welcome to read my blog see if it helps in any way?? its an inspirational piece – just offering 🙂 im sure things will sort out for you 🙂

  2. I have always believed (felt) the positive sayings are BS! Don’t tell me to “cheer up” or “think positive” – it’s all BS to someone struggling in a low, deep place. How about I say instead – I am with you – I know a f’ed up life – I know that demons can destroy. You are not alone, as others like you and like me know this type of pain. There is nothing wrong in feeling it; it’s okay to not be okay sometimes. My thoughts are with you.

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