No outlet for my pain.

I’m a mess. I’m so sleep deprived I could cry right now. My muscles are all trembling. Everywhere I think, aha, I’ll got and talk to that person, I realise that they are caught up in their own misery. How the hell can I be selfish and complain to them? They have their own demons to deal with. They don’t need to listen to my whingy and whiny shit.

Yet as a result of all this, I so desperately need someone to talk to. I need someone to acknowledge my pain and tell me that it will be OK.

Pathetic whinge over.

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6 thoughts on “No outlet for my pain.

  1. My thoughts are with you. Living with chronic pain is exhausting and depressing. It can end up being isolating because people do not understand and they lack patience to make adjustments to accomodate you.

    I have these same feelings and experiences. One of the people living downstairs in my house actually intentionally waits for me at the bottom of the stairs in order to make fun of how long it takes me to get down…one step at a time…in excrutiating pain…down the 2 flights of steps.

    He yells things at me like Jump! I am afraid to walk down the steps because I am already afraid to fall and when he yells suddenly it makes me feel more in danger of falling.

    People don’t believe what they cannot see. It leaves us isolated and unable to connect with people and spend time going anywhere with people. It is very sad.

  2. Sleep deprivation makes pain worse. It is a vicious cycle. Do you take anything or do anything to help with falling asleep?
    Sometimes a glass of wine works better for me than the prescription meds .

    Some of the meds I have make me very groggy and non-functional in the mornings.

    1. I take a psych med that helps with my sleep but I can also take zopiclone on the nights it gets really bad. I might get four hours on those nights. Yup, four hours is a good night.

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