I spent 15 years of my life in that profession. I loved it too. When I was at work I could forget about the hell that was waiting for me at home. I was bloody good at it too. Despite what the asshat would say to me. I was constantly told that I was crap at my job, at everything in fact and all I was fit for was the shovelling shit part of the job. That was just a small opener and a tiny example of how my ex spoke to me. But this isn’t about me or my lousy asshole of an ex.
This is about what is it that drives one human being to hurt another so dreadfully with their actions? Why does a married man with two children think it’s OK to screw a little tramp 20 years his junior? Does he not stop and think that screwing around is so wrong? What makes the little tramp think that she has got the right to open her legs and tear apart a marriage?
I loathe cheaters. I mean really physically hate them. Let me just stipulate that I am referring to cheaters of either sex here. It reminds me of how devastated my mother was when my ‘father’ crapped all over his marriage vows with a loathesome, lying gold digging whore.
Now I am faced with seeing someone I have known for years and consider a good friend fall apart as the same thing happens to her. I feel her pain and it breaks my heart that I can’t reach out to her and take all that pain away from her.
That’s what I do see… I heal people. I make them better. I lend a shoulder, virtual or physical and let them sob until they start to feel better. I listen, I give reiki, I’m just there for them. Yet this time I cannot help. Knowing she is so broken right now and I cannot help to fix her – this breaks my heart.
Why should I care so much about wanting to heal people? Well, once a nurse… always a nurse.